stella takes Nell on her first vacation

Winston Churchill said that "success is experiencing failure upon failure and maintaining your enthusiasm throughout." That dittie resonates throughout my career. When I heard it I could relate immediately which made me realize I was too familiar with the experience... My personal awareness leads me to the realization that there is a thin line between optimism and denial. It's preferable to believe that sanctity and understanding waits around the next corner but when do you tap yourself on the shoulder and say, which corner big girl? You've been turning left for a long time now. I must be wary of cynicism and sentimentality...it's too easy to morph into sancitimonious... all are enalving..trap doors that lead to spike ladened pits waiting to impale the unsuspecting and overly sensitive. So straddle that line while never ever ever ever give up and try real hard not to slit that wrist.

Took Nell over to Grand Junction for an art presentation.... Tomas and I were finalists for a series of murals to be made for two schools. Not a big job but a job neverthesless and... lordygordy knows...public art is such a crap shoot so just apply for everything. Besides, it has been ages since we did the vacation, get out of town, get out of your head kind of get away... it was time.

The presentation was held at the GJ convention center and the other finalist was the first to present. We were called in while he was answering individual questions and packing up his samples. Moving to the table with the powerpoint projector setup, I notice his drawings splayed everywhere... which was different since committees like to keep the other ideas secret.... and my mind starts rushing like grand rapids, sweeping over all that I am seeing and holy shit... it is fucking clip art of basketballs, softballs, footballs, a barbell... and I'm thinking good god he took the committee's concepts literally... yea they do sports here but.... so I'm riding high happy because our design is conceptually on the other end of the spectrum ....and yet... caution prevails because Tomas and I have also been doing this for far too long to forget the manymany times concepts I thought belonged in the trash became the winning entry.

I give my speel, we all talk... I remind them how this is the opportunity to select a piece that will reach beyond the boundary of signage ... live in the abstract.... their faces are like blank wallpaper... I wonder if I should have worn my push-up bra... should have bought a push-up bra... this public art world is a bitch... brokering real estate or selling cloned corn cobs ... anything but this impossible world where my fianacial wellbeing dangles in the balance of an art committee who thinks 'cute' constitutes an artistic statement.... sweet jesus...and you know those two jocks in the room want a mural they can relate to. We collect our materials in one sweep, leave the samples, and gracefully exit the room turning to give one more go-for-the-vision smile. I'll keep you posted.